As the mother of five sons, I have grown tired of all the garbage our culture feeds our boys about what it means to be a man. Everything they see and hear tells them to look out for their own self-interest, to use women as sexual toys and conquests, to love power and seek glory, and to show no real emotion in the process.

But this is not the true measure of a man! As adults, we know this. We have lived it. History tells us it is so. We do not admire Mussolini or Genghis Kahn, but Dr. King and Winston Churchill. 

But for boys today, the message of what defines true greatness is all but drowned out. The wisdom that used to be handed down in a game of catch, a day of fishing, or in long hours working in the yard has become lost amid all the noise of popular culture, lost amid the rush of lives too busy for family dinners. 

Stories about right and wrong and courage and respect—these were handed down father to son, grandfather to grandson…man to boy.

Today our sons are more often looking to other boys than to men. The “role models” who star in videos, sing in their iPods and act in movies are not much more than boys themselves. Yet, they are exalted as symbols of success; they are courted by a press that can’t get enough of them; and they are leading the way for our sons.

I am tired of watching boys forget who they are. Who they were born to be. Who they came here wanting to be! Think back to when your sons or grandsons were little boys. I’d be willing to bet that when you asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up, virtually every one of them said they wanted to be a superhero, a policeman, an army man, or a fireman. You could see a fire in their little eyes—they were here to save the world!

This is the true nature of boys. They come here wired for goodness. Their first instinct is one for heroism and rightness. 

But somewhere along the way they are told to leave that behind. Somewhere along the way our culture steps in and takes over those dreams and replaces them with thoughts of power and money and sex and violence.

As parents, it feels overwhelming to imagine how we can counteract these messages. We are so outnumbered—outgunned by this culture that seeps unrelentingly into the nooks and crannies of their lives. We need a new set of voices. We need men to not just stand up but stand together. We need backup!

That is what this book seeks to provide. Advice, guidance, new possibilities, new ways for boys to define themselves as men. As parents, it is our partner. Our backup in the ongoing fight for our sons. For their futures. For their hearts. For who they are and who they were meant to be.

In this book I have gathered together some of the finest men this country has to offer and I’ve asked them to tell me what they think it really means to be a man. From courage to leadership to anger and forgiveness—these are their answers. Hear Andrew Young talk about what happened at the Lorraine Motel in the moments before Dr. King was shot and what he learned about the importance of having a purpose in life greater than self-interest; hear Matt Hasselbeck’s thoughts on leadership in the huddle; Ray Allen’s ideas about women; a former Vietnam POW shares his advice on persistence and overcoming hardship; a four-star admiral talks about learning the lesson of responsibility (and avoiding the life of a pig farmer!); an acclaimed African-American poet talks about the importance of dreams—whether or not they come to fruition; an Emmy Award-winning television sitcom writer tells you why he’s going to “kick your ass”; and an interview with the most remarkable Catholic priest you may ever meet.

The one thing I know for sure is this:
Our boys are capable of so much better than they are being led to believe! 

I believe that most boys, most young men, want to be good. They would choose to play the hero if they could.

This book is not a magic formula. It does not promise “seven easy steps to integrity.” Instead, each essay and interview is meant simply to shed a little light on the path, showing you another way. A better way.